Poem: The Almosts

Some are afraid of the boogie man

of the things that go bump in the night

of black sludge creeping down walls

of dark eyes, green or yellow

but what scares me the most

what haunts me

are the ghosts

the almosts, the maybes

the never-afters

the chances missed

because you swerved

when you were meant to drive straight

these uncertainties

ridicule and torture

again

and again

and again

 

I had a great holiday, and just relaxing right now while thinking of making some dinner for tonight. I had a bit of a rough morning, but I am better now. I am too hard on myself, but sometimes I don’t feel quite enough for those around me, you know?

I want to be there for the ones I care about, but sometimes I feel like I’m not quite as present as I ought to be. I blame SAD, of course…I blame anxiety, too, but it’s still not a thought that I wanted to get started with the new year.

Is that a new New Year’s resolution: No regrets? Hey, it’s probably a start!

How is everyone? How are you celebrating the New Year?

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