I got out of work early today (thank goodness!)
Ever find yourself tapping your feet, glancing at the clock, wondering when the day is ever going to end? And if it does, hopefully it’ll be sometime this century?
I mentioned in an earlier post that I’ve been having trouble with anxiety. I tend to get anxiety due to my seasonal depression, but lately, I’ve been getting anxious doing nothing.
Today, glancing at the clock on my computer at work, I could have sworn that time crawled backwards just to mock me. Every twitch of the foot, every tap of my fingers on the keyboard was reminding, reminding, reminding me that I could be somewhere else, anywhere else. And that time is money.
Time is money, money, money…if only I got paid to waste time. (Well, one could almost argue that this is what I do at work most everyday, but anyway…)
If only I got paid to follow my dream…if only I could travel, see the world, pay the bills, see my family, and go back to school and not worry that my car might break down next month, or that I won’t be able to pay for groceries.
I want to be able to go out to eat where I want, I want to plan a meal (whatever it is) and be able to go out and get the ingredients, no matter the cost.
I want security, and I want love, and I want everything that a child of the 90s was promised: I want that American dream.
But then the economy crashed, we got a new president, and everything just…tanked.
I want…I want…
Right now, I’ve been content with how much (or how little) I have. I’ve been learning that life isn’t in petty things. It really isn’t food. It really isn’t the things you buy for yourself.
But…I definitely feel like its time to see more of the world. It’s time to move on. And maybe that brings me back to my whole going back to college thing. Maybe that will inspire me to do what I need to do to be where I want to be.
It is time for this restlessness to go away. Like…now. Okay. Rant over.
I hope everyone else is having more of a productive Monday than I am!