Poem: Hold/These Arms

This was meant to be something else entirely. I’ve been watching some of Bindi Irwin’s dance routines from dancing with the stars. I don’t normally watch the show, but I’ve been cheering her on from the beginning. She’s such a wonderfully positive person, and I guess I was inspired by her.

Hold/These Arms

These are my arms
Every freckle, every scar
The heel of my hand
Bony, creased and wrinkled
These hands have been
Sanded down by desktops.
See the blue veins,
The purple, the red
Several tiny waterfalls
Sliding down
The pulse of my wrist

Further down
And inside
The skin is pale
A flick of the wrist
Some hair
And more freckles
These ones burned on
By the sun

These arms are thin
And always moving
Weakened by heavy loads,
Low blood sugar
And the flu.

Hold a candle to them
They burn
Hold a lamp
And the skin lightens
But put them up
Against life’s little troubles:
A broken down car, a
Sickness, a work drama

And show me someone
Who is suffering
And these arms will fold,
Beat back
and hold up the world
So they can rise above it

Poem: Open

Hmm, wrote this one the other day. I was going to share a different one that was sort of melancholy, but considering how gloomy it was today (weather-wise) who needs more of that nonsense? Hope everyone is having a great night, though.


I miss Spring

and new beginnings

I was a baby born

at the right time

my time comes

when the weather is warm

and the sky is breathing

and the trees and flowers

open up and bloom


They stretch

and I stretch

try to hug the sky

and envelope myself in

the atmosphere of nature


If I could fade away

and be a piece of earth

I would be a flower

or a star in the sky

either way, someone looks up

or you open and shine

NaNoWriMo Update, Days 10-16: Keep Writing and Work the Problem

Word Count: 7,132

Does any of that word count make sense? Not a clue.

Will I make my goal of 50,000 words by the end of the month? Probably not.

Did I learn something about my story, myself, and my characters? Yes I did!

spy8Working the problem…

About 5,000 words in, I ran into a snag. My characters were bored. I was bored, this was not the direction that I wanted to go in. So I did something odd, I jumped back to the beginning. I changed a POV, and then suddenly: viola! I’ve got a snarky character, a new perspective, and the idea that my story really is going somewhere…I just go lost somewhere along the way.

Even though something wasn’t going my way, I found that it doesn’t solve anything if you give up. Instead, you work the problem. You ask yourself questions:

  • What can I do differently?
  • What don’t I like here?
  • What can I change?
  • Is it the character?

Remember to ask yourself positive questions, and not place blame. It sounds odd, (and I learned this from a friend,) but if you ask yourself questions that are positively phrased like: what can I do differently? Instead of: what did I do wrong? It tends to work a lot better.

Don’t wallow in failure, be your own positive motivator when you work the problem!

Another thing that I found helpful when I found myself stuck and not sure where to go: I started writing from a different area of the story. Sometimes if you are writing in the beginning of the story, and something isn’t working out your way, skip to the middle.

Who said that a writer had to write all their scenes in consecutive order? Sometimes a change of the writer’s  perspective is all you need to get your story where it needs to go. It might help you see the bigger picture.

Also, lastly, and the most important thing: Keep Writing!

Even though sometimes the going gets tough, I’ll never be able to perfect my work, if I don’t keep working at the rough drafts to get me there.

(Even J.K. Rowling didn’t write her final draft for Harry Potter from the get go.) :P

Eh, I suppose I better stop yammering, and get back to working. Hope everyone has a great week! Happy Writing!

Magnetic Poetry: Fools

Thinking about all the crazy things happening in the  world right now. My heart goes out to those in France right now :( If there was a time I wished I had a super power, it was now. Oh, I’d totally kick some ass.


Peace in the world
is like when man
born naked
lived without fire
words or concrete
we be ape fools
thirsty and sad

What Happened to Thanksgiving?

1221122319I might sound like a major Grinch in this post, but I’m not going to apologize.

Christmas is coming, no, its steamrolling its way here faster than I’d like, and it’s sprinted past Thanksgiving and is on its way to Christmas in July…which will probably get here faster than Thanksgiving.

And Turkey day is merely two weeks away…just saying.

I’ve been out and about the last couple of days doing errands, and I’ve been noticing more and more red and green than I have before. Christmas may not be my favorite holiday, but usually I like to get into the Christmas spirit after Thanksgiving. Not before. Not during.

My less than jolly mood could be contributed to my three years spent working retail, and the Christmas music that some stores shove down your throats the day after Halloween.

We also lost my grandma this year, and it just doesn’t feel like there should be a holiday at all, but I definitely don’t want to see Christmas trees and fake snowmen out before I’m ready.

I guess when it comes down to it, the holidays mean something different for each and every one of us. For those who have lost loved ones, it can be a difficult time. Most of the time I get annoyed because of how commercialized Christmas has become. It is all about the money and stores are even opening Thanksgiving night, instead of early black Friday morning.

I feel just like Charlie Brown on A Charlie Brown Christmas. What ever happened to the true meaning of Christmas? To spending time with friends and family and loved ones?

To realize that Christmas is about the joy of spending time together and giving and love.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year because the only thing I want for Christmas is the one thing I can’t have: to spend one more Christmas with my Grandma. To hear her laugh again, to get wrapping paper thrown at my head.

Well, I didn’t mean to get all sentimental on you guys, but I am doing everything I can to find some joy in Christmas this year, and it just isn’t happening.

And it certainly doesn’t help when the outside world is telling us too soon that you better be ready:  Christmas is coming!!

Where do you find the joy in the holidays?

I’ve decided that I’m going to try to make most of my presents this year, but I think I might also do some online shopping. I’ve had enough of stores already!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

NaNoWriMo Days 7, 8 & 9: Now I Know Why Some Writers Use Outlines

Word Count: 6,005

Saturday was not as productive as it should have been. Sunday, I managed to write about 2,000 words, but most of those words are garbage, and I’ll say it again: now I know why some writers use outlines.

I usually write some kind of  rough outline, but sometimes it doesn’t really help me either. If I can’t see the scene I am writing…an outline becomes pointless.

My story is rapidly on its way to going no where…I imagine this is the natural order of things. You write, you change direction, you realize suddenly that the twenty pages that you just spent the last two hours on, perhaps isn’t the right way to go with the story.

And then you begin again.

Wow. Can I just throw this out there: I do not like this.

Seeing the crap that I’ve written makes me doubt myself and suddenly I think my whole story is one big cliche, and who would read this anyway, unless I were to add some kind of steamy sex scenes?

Okay, no sex scenes. At least…not here. Yet. Who Knows. But still…how do you guys move on from the crap, and get to writing the good stuff?

Such a common misconception among writers: One, that everyone automatically knows how to write a novel, and two, it’s going to be awesome from the first draft because of course, its supposed to be.




Part of me is embarrassed to admit that I don’t really know what the hell that I’m doing, and then a part of me finds comfort in the fact that Stephen King said that most writers don’t know…and I guess isn’t that the magic of it all?

That we all (eventually I hope) find a process and a way of writing that works best for each of us?

I can only take this as a learning experience, and move on from it.

I said last night to Mike: “What would J.K. Rowling do? How would she write it?” (More often than not that’s become my mantra).

And then he said something to me that made more sense than anything he’s said before to me when it comes to writing: “He said no, babe, how would YOU write it?”

I thought about, and there’s no tension in my story between the characters.

I’ve made the mistake of putting two strangers together, and suddenly they are getting along like they are best friends. Or best acquaintances. What the heck?

Ah, you live and you learn. Now, time to make some people angry! Rah!

How about you guys? Any road blocks along the way?

Happy Writing!

NaNoWriMo Days 4, 5 & 6: Uh, Still Writing?

Word Count: 4,107

Well…totally dropped the ball on my last post. Last night was supposed to be a lovely update with how fantastic I’m doing, and well…life happens sometimes.

It’s difficult balancing writing, work, and other chores that most of us don’t like doing but needs to be done…(laundry, dishes, etc.) Last night was one big trip to the laundromat which was good, because clean clothes are nice…buut, it doesn’t always leave time to do writing, which is bad.

I find that my core time for writing is at night-time, but I work early in the morning, and well…6am comes very fast sometimes. Ugh, Work.


Which, was awful. As far as Fridays go…yuck! I could practically see the tire marks of everyone’s cars as we pealed out of that parking garage…now I get why people always drive crazy on Fridays. I wonder if people who hate their jobs on top of having a bad day, actually pull their hair out? Like big clumps? Seriously, people. I just want to forget that today happened. At all.


Tonight was nice, though. Mike made dinner and we watched Inside Out which I just had to buy the other day. I love this movie. Hmm, maybe I’ll write-up a review of that tomorrow…

Anyway, the point is: Life

How do you manage to juggle work, family, friends, social time and writing? I think I read somewhere that in order to be completely successful in one aspect of your life, you have to give up another. Like someone who becomes work-obsessed…might let social time with friends fall to the way-side.

But, I’m like Joy on Inside Out, who doesn’t want Riley’s memories to fade, I don’t want any aspect of my life to fade. Heck, I could give up housework. I’d be happy with that. Buut, having clean dishes is important, too.

I guess the idea is to sort out your priorities. I think I could give up TV more, and Facebook time. I love keeping up with old college buddies and family on there, but once a day check-up is all I should really need for the time being.

And Youtube…sometimes (too many times), productive hours are taken when the YouTube vidoes suck you in. I know I can gain more time by giving up that.

Hmm…it sure is difficult working on writing when you work full-time hours, and I am forever in awe of those who’ve managed to write a best seller on their down time after work.

More often than not, I feel like sadness, who has that kind of energy?

But, there is a silver lining here, too. I’ve got the weekend! And I look forward to catching up on my writing tomorrow after some rest and relaxation. Oh, sleep would definitely be nice!

Anyway else always feel so drained when Friday comes around? I think its possible I need more Vitamin D and C, and B, and H and L…and yeah. Everything. Back to that grindstone…

How do you guys make time for writing?

Happy Writing everyone!

Magnetic Poetry: “Almost”

Getting a late start on my NaNoWriMo writing tonight, let’s hope I can make up some time on Saturday and Sunday. I wrote this one last night…it’s been too long since I’ve posted some magnetic poetry. ;)


wpid-img_20151104_173558569.jpgfools we were

and where every word

was brilliant

in the universe of desire

lived the magic we never had

NaNoWriMo Day 2 & 3: How do you write plot again?

Word count: 2046

Any part of that actually worth keeping?  I have no idea.

What gets me, is that when most people set out to write a story, one might assume that they automatically know how to do it. That writing great characters, and planning a plot, and have that story actually go somewhere – all comes naturally.

It does not.

For some it might, sure. But not me. It’s taken me a while to realize (or maybe admit) that it is one of my weakest points in creating a story. Plot.

Plot. Plot. Plot.

If I have trouble visualizing it, I have trouble writing it and you can’t always visualize something that you aren’t sure is supposed to happen.

I’ve had some great advice from a writing friend in the last couple of days. She advises that I try to think of some things that I want to happen, and then piece together the main events, almost like following a trail of the story.

This is a nice bit of visual helpfulness, but I also learned from Sunday night’s writing that sometimes just writing it out, certainly lets me know what works and doesn’t work.

Everyone has their own path to follow when it comes to discovering what works for them, and no way is the wrong way. According to Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, he supposes that no writer truly knows what they are doing. He has some excellent advice to writers, which I probably will refer to in the next couple of days.

It might take a while to figure out what works best for you…I know it has for me.

Now, while my word count is not where I want it to be on this third night of NaNoWriMo, (I missed Monday night) I best get to work and try to get out what I can.

I’m not quite sure where my story is going to go in the next several pages, but maybe right now….that is the beauty in it for me. I might discover something fantastic.

Other writers do plots, they make outlines with fancy bullet holes. While I might do this to some extent, I think this method of just going for it (especially when this is my true attempt at NaNoWriMo) is what I should do from here on out. It’ll definitely teach me what to do, and what not do to. And what works best for me.

What about you guys? What method works best for you? Are you a visual writer, like me?

Happy Writing!

NaNoWriMo Day 1: My Story and More Planning

It is 8:35 p.m. on this Nov. the 1st.  My word count is: 703 , and I’ve managed to do some story planning and plotting in the last two hours and a half.

I’ve also managed to create a NaNoWriMo account, which I haven’t done in several years. Not since the early college days.

I don’t remember how to do anything on the website anymore, so setting up my account, my profile info, and my novel info, took a good thirty minutes and now I’m left here wondering: how do you add buddies again?

Speaking of which…if you guys are participating in NaNoWriMo this year, my username is amandagrey1 the same on here, so add me if you want!

It’s important that us writing people stick together. Especially me. Considering how long it took me just to get online to create an account. I am such a terrible procrastinator…

Give me a goal to make and a deadline, and suddenly I find all the excuses in the world to do everything else. It’s not like I don’t want to create my story, I guess when it comes down to it, it is always the fear of the expectations.

I don’t like creating things that are bad. I don’t like the idea of failing…on anything, really. So, once again…its that same old writer’s fear…

But the point is, I’m sitting down to do something now and that’s better than nothing.

Just a cute dragon pic I colored the other day. Thought it might give me some kind of inspiration for my story.

Just a cute dragon pic I colored the other day. Thought it might give me some kind of inspiration for my story.

My story is a young adult fantasy novel about a young prince, whose royal family has the ability to change into dragons. For years, the dragons and the witches and wizards of the country have been at odds with each other. Years ago, the witches and wizards were banished from the kingdom and magic was forbidden. But all that is about to change.

I left my description on my NaNo account deliberately vague, and I’m leaving it vague here as well, because, one, I’m still working out the kinks and, two, I’m very protective of my original ideas.

I guess I’m just slightly paranoid when it comes to that. Especially considering how many different ideas there are out there. Everyone hopes that their idea is original, and who knows…maybe mine is. I guess I’m just paranoid. Plus, its kind of hard to explain a novel that you’re still working out.

Anyway, back to the grindstone, and maybe I can churn out more words on the page in the next half an hour or so. I’m so proud of myself! Perhaps locking myself in my office was a good idea after-all…

Everyone having a great first day of NaNoWriMo?

Happy Writing!